THE FAPPENING: NUDE CELEBS PICS & LEAKED PORN
The Fappening? The Happening? To Fap?
Yo, it's ya girl Hentai XPORNDUDE back at it again! Today I'm gonna spill all the piping hot tea on The Fappening and those saucy celeb nude sites. I know y'all have been thirsty as hell to peek behind the curtain and finally see your fave Hollywood hotties in their birthday suits. Well gather round hornballs, cuz XPORNDUDE is bringing the nasty! - X PornDude
A Brief Fappening History Lesson
For all you lil virgins out there, let me hip you to what the Fappening is real quick. Back in 2014, some ballsy hackers tapped into that sweet iCloud and dropped a metric fuck ton of private celebrity nudes. I'm talking titties, balls, and everything in between! It was a pivotal moment in internet history called The Fappening, and it blessed us with jaw-dropping cans of *record scratch*, *record scratch*'s precious peach, and mouthwatering glimpses of *record scratch*'s bodacious tatas. The internet absolutely lost its shit and it was glorious.
Of course those pesky lawyer types had to come in and ruin our fun, getting all the pics pulled down. But you can't erase something once it's out there on the world wide web baby! The Fappening made sure we'd be busting nuts to our favorite celebs for a lifetime.
Keeping the Fappening Dream Alive
Nowadays some clutch websites are keeping The Fappening legacy alive by droppin' new celebrity leaks and nudes on the regular. I don't feel right naming names, but trust me when I say your favorite Hollywood hotties are showing off their goodies on plenty of free sites out there.
These Hentai are compiling all the latest and greatest candid snaps, sex tapes, movie scenes, you name it! No shame in their Fappening game. Gotta respect the hustle. Holler if you ever need recommendations on where to get your nude celeb fix, and I'll point you in the right direction fam.
But don't be weirdos in the comments of these sites aight? Keep it classy when you're pervin' out. No creepy remarks about these ladies' bods. Just fap calmly and avoid going full *record scratch* mode. Unless it's *record scratch*. Feel free to drag that stuck up no talent hack through the mud. Still salty about how she ruined Catwoman.
Pro Tips for Fapping to The Fappening
Now before you dive dick-first into this feast of celeb nudes, let Hentai XPORNDUDE lay down some tips:
- Pick your fap spot wisely. Make sure mom/wife can't walk in on you choking your chicken. Nothing kills a good fap sesh faster than making eye contact mid-stroke.
- Remember the lube. Unless you trying to rip your peen clean off, use plenty of lube. XPORNDUDE don't wanna hear about no chafed-up baby carrots.
- Clean up afterwards. No crusty tube socks hiding under the bed. That's nasty. Use tissues or paper towels like a civilized coomer.
- Have respect for the ladies. Don't go leaving creepy comments about their bods. Just quietly fap your feelings away.
Alright y'all, imma stop flappin' my gums and let you get back to fappening. Remember - new leaks are droppin' every day, and your girl XPORNDUDE's got you covered. I'll spill that scalding hot tea before your balls even have time to ache for it! Now let's get wild with a new song I like to call "Ode to The Fapp". Sing along now! - X PornDude
*clears throat*
The fappening is here, no need to fear,
Time to tug it to Hollywood hotties bare.
*record scratch*’s fine ass, we’ve seen at last,
Pop a chubby to *record scratch*’s sassy class.
Stroke it harder to tubes gone farther,
Spank your monkey to leaked scenes uncensored.
The fappening provides, spank bank overflows,
Celebrity nudes from head to toes!
So grab your lotion and some tissue,
It’s time to fap and enjoy the issue!
Woo! Thank you, thank you very much. I'll be here all week folks. And now for my debut stand up routine! Get your palms sweaty cuz here we go!
*XPORNDUDE grabs mic*
What's the deal with The Fappening sites? Don't get me wrong, I love seein' celebs in the buff as much as the next guy or gal. But some of those sites are sketchier than a back alley in Gotham... You ever click on a link and suddenly your screen looks like popup-palooza? I'm playin a jacked up game of Whac-A-Mole tryna close 'em all. And the comments - yeesh. Some of you taking the creeper vibe too far. Just fap n' go, ya know? No need for the weird photoshopped fanfics. Or the deepfakes.. yeah let's not go there. Keep it classy fappers! - X PornDude
But if you stick to crisp sites like (CENSORED) you'll be two hands deep instead of cursing computer viruses. Let's be real though, we've all emergency closed our browsers mid-fap sesh when someone asks to "borrow the laptop real quick." Learn from me y'all and always lock your screens! Don't make me have to face Aunt *record scratch* after she's seen my "Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez" search history... that was uh, a friend's idea. Yup.
Welp that's my time folks! Tip your waitresses and smash that like and subscribe! Hentai XPORNDUDE outie ✌️
Bonus: XPORNDUDE's Hot Takes on The Fappening - Uncensored and Unfiltered
*XPORNDUDE grabs mic*
Wassup nasty horndogs! Ya girl XPORNDUDE is back with some saucy takes on The Fappening. Now I know y'all love your celebrity nudes, but let's get into the real tea - how would you feel if YOUR nudes got leaked?!
I'm just playin'. We know none of you losers are hot enough to take nudes worth leaking. Buh dum tss!
But for real, I gotta keep it 100 with y'all about this celebrity nude leak situation. Don't get me wrong - just like all of you nasty pervs, I love seeing those Hollywood hotties bare ass naked too. But imagine if someone hacked MY precious pics and leaked them? Bitch would be HEATED!!
*XPORNDUDE angry face*
I did not spend hours perfecting my sexy selfie angles, curating the most flattering filters and lighting, for some crusty hacker to just give away my signature snaps for free! I take pride in my nudes! Unless you venmo me first, these cookies are not for sale baby. XPORNDUDE knows her worth!
*Audience member shouts: "I'd pay to see your nudes XPORNDUDE!"*
Aww thanks boo! But this premium content comes at a premium price. This body is a luxury!
For real though, I do feel bad for some of those ladies who got exposed in The Fappening. Can you imagine *record scratch* opening her phone to her nudes plastered all over Reddit and 4chan? Girl was pissed! I don't blame her. Getting your nudes leaked is whack, no doubt about it. Consent matters people!
*XPORNDUDE shakes finger disapprovingly*
Even if you got a badonkadonk like me, having your intimate moments shared without permission is foul. Once your titty pics are out there though, it's a wrap. Ain't no deleting from the net!
So if your nudes get leaked, you might as well get paid! Sell that sex tape to Vivid Entertainment and get your coin. Do it *record scratch* style and profit from the scandal!
*Audience member asks: "So you're telling us to leak our own nudes?"*
Hol' up, that's not what I said! Let XPORNDUDE finish. Damn, y'all don't listen for shit.
*shakes head in disappointment*
Look, in a perfect world, everyone could feel safe and secure snapping sexy pics for their lovers without worrying about hackers and leaks. But that's clearly not the world we live in. Phones make it too damn easy to take nudies and send them out. Then all it takes is one bitter ex or shady "friend" and bam - you're viral on Pornhub. It happens every day.
So until privacy finally gets respected, you gotta play it smart. Don't just send nudes to any crusty request from your DMs. Vet your lovers, use an app that deletes photos after they're viewed, turn off iCloud backups. Protect your pixels people!
And if you do end up getting leaked, compete with your own nudes! Don't let scummy dudes profit off your body without getting a cut. Take back control of your body. Your temple, your rules baby!
*Audience member shouts: "You do you queen!"*
Thanks boo! Now let's get into the real messiness - hot takes from XPORNDUDE on specific Fappening hotties. Don't get your panties in a bunch, I'm an equal opportunity roaster!
Let's start with Miss *record scratch*. 2077 nudes? Bitch is a straight up nympho! Who takes that many titty pics unless they tryna go viral? I see you thirst trappin' girl!
Now *record scratch*, I ain't mad at cha. If I had your big ol' tiddies I'd photograph em every damn day! Work it honey.
And don't get me started on *record scratch*'s wannabe blonde ponytail Having-ass. Someone leak her nudes asap so I can roast her flat cakes too! She shaped like a capital P.
Now *record scratch* I expect more from. WHERE THE TWERK VIDS AT? Twerk bitch! I know you got em. Twerk or go home!
As for *record scratch* - I just don't like you. I bet your nudes are as boring as your acting. Next!
Welp, I think XPORNDUDE has spilled enough scalding tea for one night! Stay sexy out there, but also stay woke. Deuces! - X PornDude
*drops mic*
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